Wedding Planning
Planning a wedding is exactly as challenging as you allow it to become. If you’re on the ball, you talked to each other about your respective concepts of “the big day” long before the proposal, and if those images were different, you talked about how to compromise. Regardless, the first step to actually planning the wedding is to get a sense of the scope and scale of the event. The most important questions to ask yourselves as early as possible are, “What do WE want to do?” and “Who do WE want to be there?” and last but certainly not least, “How do WE afford this?”
Because exchanging vows in front of families and friends involves other people, it will be a constant battle to keep focused on the fact that it’s your day. It’s a celebration of your commitment to a life-long relationship together, not a family reunion or a weekend getaway with friends. Avoid the trap of “well, if we invite so-and-so, we HAVE to invite such-and-such”… at the end of the day, it’s about the two of you, and the invite list should be comprised of the people that you want to share the day with, and no one else. It’s an impossible-to-achieve ideal, because second cousin Jeremiah and his ex-wife will show up uninvited anyway… but strive for it.
Additionally, because it’s your day, the two of you are the ones who get to decide whether you want an ice sculpture or a live blues band, a canine ring-bearer or Elvis-impersonators as waiters. Use your imagination and plan the day the way you will always want to remember it, and the way that will bring the most smiles to your faces.
Finally, since the financial outlay involved is often considerable, there needs to be a budget. Talk about what you can afford to spend. If your wedding plan doesn’t jive with your wallet, talk to parents about whether they willing and able to contribute. Whatever you do, choose a target, flush out the details, and do your best to stick to the plan. Flowers may end up costing twice as much as you thought, the cake may only cost half of what you expected: regardless, building and maintaining a basic budget will keep you from massive unexpected debt the day after your wedding, which can put a noticeable damper on the honeymoon.
Some final words of advice: take it slow and steady. Talk to other recently married couples about their weddings, and if they are willing to share the information, inquire about their budgets. Realize that the wedding, reception and honeymoon can cost as little as a $50 marriage license and a bottle of champagne, and as much as a small townhouse; but money spent doesn’t directly translate into increased happiness. Good planning and good communication, on the other hand, generally do.